


No, I'm Not Fine. Yes, That's Okay

by 0_yngve



Series: Aching Bones, Aching Hearts [1]
Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, Opowiadania Muminków | Die Mumins | The Moomins (Stop Motion 1977), 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Author Projecting onto Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Autistic Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Congenital Disability, Congenital Illness, Disability, Disabled Character, Disabled Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Gen, Mild Ableism, Moominmamma is mentioned, Physical Disability, Trans Snusmumriken | Snufkin, snufmin if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0_yngve/pseuds/0_yngve
Summary: “Seriously, Snufkin—are you okay?”One step at a time. Plant your heel down, push off the ball and toes, and repeat on the other side. Keep your back and core strong. Use the muscles in your legs to push and control the falls. Don’t forget to breathe. So many things to remember all at once. How far was he from Moominhouse? Couldn’t be much further, right? His thoughts were so hard to hold in his head, as if they would burn him if he grasped them long enough.
Relationships: Mumintrollet | Moomintroll & Snusmumriken | Snufkin
Series: Aching Bones, Aching Hearts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688545
Comments: 6
Kudos: 103





	No, I'm Not Fine. Yes, That's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen I think three fics where Snufkin is disabled and that just won't do.

The late spring air was sweet and fresh, with just a bit of sharpness to it from the near-eruption earlier. The two of them had gone foraging for fruits to keep up with Moominmamma’s fervent jam-making. Raspberries and apricots and plums and peaches—it was all great fun. They were carrying their haul in sacks slung over their shoulders. 

It was heavy, Snufkin thought, beating his joints incessantly. After only a few minutes, he could feel his strides change to compensate for his pain. He hoped it wouldn’t be too noticeable. He tried to not carry such great loads, making a point to only travel with bare essentials. But this was a favor for Moominmamma, as misguided as she was. And it meant spending time with Moomintroll, and truly, how was he supposed to resist that? 

Surely Moomintroll would be too taken with his own thoughts to notice small things like his friend’s gait. 

“You’re limping.” Moomintroll’s voice was laced with concern. 

Oh. “Don’t be silly.” Snufkin grimaced as he fought to make his strides more even. How was walking supposed to work? It was so natural that Snufkin couldn’t recall. He pushed and pulled his legs into a pattern he thought was good enough—at least until they got back to Moominhouse. 

“I’m serious, Snufkin. Are you okay? Is the sack too heavy, cause I can carry both of them.” 

“I’m fine,” he grit his teeth, the words coming out a tad sharper than intended. He’d feel worse if so much of his mind wasn’t focused on trying to look like his pain wasn’t growing with every step. 

“I can help you if you need it.”

Right-left, right-left, right? That was how this worked. Nevermind the ache in his ankle, or how the tendons around his knee felt ready to snap. 

“I don’t mind, Snuf.” 

Was he always this weak? Were his loads always this heavy? Snufkin couldn’t remember. All he could think about was the pressure that rippled down his back and legs, matched by the sharp strain of his body combating it. 

“Seriously, Snufkin—are you okay?” 

One step at a time. Plant your heel down, push off the ball and toes, and repeat on the other side. Keep your back and core strong. Use the muscles in your legs to push and control the falls. Don’t forget to breathe. So many things to remember all at once. How far was he from Moominhouse? Couldn’t be much further, right? His thoughts were so hard to hold in his head as if they would burn him if he grasped them long enough. 

“Snufki-”

His hip refused to lock together: two magnets facing the wrong way, edging close together and then overshooting but refusing to connect properly. Snufkin tried to catch his weight with his other leg, but his knee felt ready to snap under the force. He tumbled down. 

“Snufkin!” Moomintroll raced to his friend’s side. “Oh, by the Booble, are you okay?” 

Ow. Snufkin rubbed his nose before a burning in his wrist made him pull away. Perhaps the bag was too heavy, he thought, gently rubbing his aching knee. 

“I’m alright.” 

“What was that?” 

“It happens, Moomintroll. Don’t worry about it,” Snufkin tried to soothe the fretting troll. 

“What do you mean, ‘it happens?’” Moomintroll was indignant. “You were fine all day and then you just suddenly collapsed!” 

“I tripped,” Snufkin muttered, 

Moomintroll didn’t hear. “I bet Mamma will be able to help. I can carry you back home and ask her.” He set aside their sacks of fruit. 

“There’s really no need to bother her.” 

Moomintroll frowned. “Why aren’t you concerned about this? Something must be seriously wrong with you.” 

Snufkin grimaced. “Nothing’s ‘wrong’ with me. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not! Honestly, Snufkin, do you expect me to believe that nonsense?” 

Snufkin grunted as he clumsily stood up. His hip was better—well, it was at his baseline level of pain—but his knee and ankles still felt tight and sharp. Moomintroll reached out to help him, but his fingers hesitated in touching. His brow creased. 

“See?” Snufkin presented himself standing upright if a tad lopsided, “Fine. I just tripped.” 

“That wasn’t a trip. Do you think I’m stupid?” 

What? “Moomintroll.” 

A sharp exhale came from the troll. Snufkin figured that was about as good an acknowledgment he was going to get. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Moomintroll uncrossed his arms. “I know.” His voice was tired. 

A moment passed between them, each not quite meeting each other in the eye. 

Moomintroll silently picked up both of the sacks and slung them over his shoulder. The fur on his back was slightly stained by the berries. He cocked his head to the side, a soft smile on his face not quite meeting his eyes. He started walking, his pace slower than before. 

Snufkin followed, ever so slightly limping along.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for getting this far! 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @/smooth-goat for idk cottagecore and Moomins nonsense.


End file.
